Is it normal to be this irked about high school? Noncomformist that I am, I shouldn't give a shit about anyone's opinion on me. And I won't, really. I'm just transcendently, honestly wondering what every other freshman will see when I walk in the door. Maybe the simple things - a stereotypical Goth at first, soon revealing herself to be a disconcertingly serious artist, as well as an up-and-coming musician. Or who knows, I might come off as a conceited, unoriginal and uncaring bitch. And I'll admit to it all... on occasion. But that's not the person I want to be. And in truth, I don't want to be that person for them. I want to be that person for me. That's what I want from myself in life, is that such a crime?Or... damn. They probably won't give me a second glance when I come through that door. Might raise their eyebrows a bit, from the upfront forwardness of it all, the jangling display of my mindless, reckless persona, but I doubt anyone will think long on it. 'Cept the guys who hit on me of course. (And the girls... !!) Really, though, we're all in the same boat, starting high, and I'm sure that every other freshman in the building will be going straight through the same neurotic paranoia, self-conscious in every way thinkable. Actually, more so than me, most likely.
Because I don't let what anyone says get to me. Not anymore. They can laugh at the black clothes and the big eyeliner. They can whisper to each other about how I'm a walking ad for Hot Topic. Sad. Because I'm pretty confident at this point that I'm not exactly a mean person in my kinder state of being. Really. And if anyone else is feeling self-conscious, shy, scared, or the like - yeah, bitches, you may not show it but damn do you know it - I'm gonna tell them the truth. I'm a little the same way.
Hell, you people are probably convinced I'm a narc if you've come this far. I pretty much only blog about myself, don't I? -laughs- You know what though? THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. You can't exactly counter that. Qwerty <3
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