And I don't feel like I am strong enough.

Sorry... been a long, long time. I know. I just couldn't compel myself to write here often enough. So much has been happening lately... in between Miniscus, GLSBA, Ju Dra's dog and Emmy's YYE, besides meeting David and Nirvana and Nicole, I've had so much to think about.

So let me put it this way: I've found the meaning of my life. And it isn't love, the way I always thought it would be. It's not my sister or my friends or even Kingdom Hearts. It's Miniscus. It always has been, really. Why do you think I put so much pressure on myself every time I couldn't draw, every time I hit writers' block?

I'm meant to get this done. I'm meant to show it to the world, meant to see Japanese and Americans alike fangirl over it, ship Duskmic and mention YYE and give it a place on FF.net - why did I ever think my life was worth anything more?!??

Seriously, though, something happened to me. Something kind of big, bigger than it should have been anyway. And I was emotionally unstable, like, to the core, for about five seconds... before I asked myself what the HELL I was doing. Miniscus is my commitment. Honest to god, if the world can't except that, then fuck them. Fuck them all. Fuck my guidance counselor who thinks I have "more potential." Fuck my so-called friends who write me off as a hardcore geek. Fuck all that shit, because I just wasn't born to be happy with a person.

So if my life turns around and I do manage to get a girlfriend, then that's great. But I'm not strong enough to get committed to people anymore. I've made that mistake two fucking times already. No more. NO MORE.

Fuck it. I can write and write and write and be alone all my life if I have to.

As long as I'm writing.