And I wonder if I'm just built this way.

Well, here's to another shitty day gone by. To be honest, I'd rather blog for eternity or at least watch the eighth One Piece movie a couple more times, if not, say, The Grudge. But -sigh- I have homework to do. Yeah, life is bullshit.

So I'm procrastinating again. So what? I want to talk to the girl I love. I want to run around screaming. I want to write my manga, project my own hurt and confusion and pain right into the characters I love so dearly. I want to stab everything I see. I want to feel regret. I want to confess. I want to all at once live and die.

Unfortunately, it's the 21st century, and I have homework to do.

Why am I even bothering to write this, you ask? Because I'm trying to ponder the answer to a question. It always deeply, deeply bothers me when I am unable to do what I need to do and instead end up doing what I want to do - in short, procrastinating. Yup. I know, here we go again.

I do it a lot. PROBLEM!! It prevents me from catching up to everybody else in school. I just generally fall behind and go into a shitty mood. But music is a drug to me; I can't let go of it. I'm a manga addict, obviously. Can't really read or draw while solving equations, can you?

I just want to let go. To change myself for once. To evaporate the nervousness, the guilt that gnaws at me from the inside when I leave everything until the last minute. Unfortunately, I can't.

I was born this way, and all my life I will live this way. I will die this way.

Fuckers, do I hate homework.

Qwerty <3